Here’s where I’m going to talk about my feelings.
Mostly my feelings about moving, don’t be too worried!
I’m going to put it right out there:
We’re at a standstill with our lives here at this house. We know the end is near, our work here is done. Normally at this time of year I’m busy planting in the yard, scouring the neighborhood plant sales for new varieties and planting vegetable seeds in the garden. This year I’ve only planted a couple pots because…you can’t dig up the whole garden and take it with you.
But it’s not just that.
My heart is in this home.
Maybe it shouldn’t be. Maybe it means I’m too attached to things I shouldn’t be attached to. But I get all emotional thinking of the day we’ll drive away and the house will not be ours anymore. I brought my past two babies home to this house. I know my way around it in the dark. We’ve sweated, cried (well, that’s probably just me), and even bled (mostly my husband) in making this house our own. I’m pretty invested.
I realize I’m not being forced to leave this house. We’ve been hoping for the past few years that we could do just what we are doing…selling our home and finding something with a few acres where we can really put down roots and live for the foreseeable future. I’m excited for that future. I’m excited to find our next house, to make it our own, to see all the memories we will make there.
But, it’s still tough! Change is tough!
I know once we actually find another house I’ll feel better about it. (We haven’t found a new house yet…eeek!) I think then I’ll be able to start planning our future there more concretely. Right now it feels like we’re at a dead end instead of at a new beginning.
I am glad that I have a house that I can feel that way about. I wish everyone could have a home they feel this strongly about. I’m hopeful that soon our “new” house will come on the market and we can buy it and I can start investing in that home and that one day it will feel homey like this home too.
It’s a bittersweet time. One that will pass and things will look much brighter!!
(I hope I’m not coming off as some sort of first-world complainer—I realize there are those who are homeless, or live in homes they don’t like or are not ideal. I know there are many many worse housing situations than the one we are currently experiencing!)
Update: we accepted an offer on our current home a couple weeks ago and we are in the inspection process. Everything looks promising that we will close the end of next month. So far we have not put offers on any houses so hopefully soon one will come up that is what we are looking for!